Heart Felt

I am reading the Bible chronologically in 2024. The beginning of January is the books of Genesis and Job.

I have studied the book of Job many times as a minister and teacher. It never fails to reach me.

I understand most people do not care to read the book. It’s is as if by reading it, fear of the unknown would come upon them.

Job said in chapter 3:25
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.





So I get it, but having read it my heart opens up. I fear, but it’s reverential fear.

All I can see is the awesome tenacity of Job to remain loyal and faithful to God. My hope is that I am inspired & encouraged in my faith to do the same in my journey to freedom.

In 2021, I came near death through covid pneumonia. In the ICU for 4 days, on the floor for 4 more, and throughout many months of recovery at home, I never felt the presence of God as strong as I did then. I never had so many inner talks with God, received so much revelation as I did during that time. I also never felt so much love from Jesus.

Honestly my family became the church to me. They showed so much love and care and did not quit until I was recovered. Anything we had need of was supplied. Jesus shined through them.

I admit, I would might have asked why, if Jesus had not met with me in the emergency room and said to me “ I’ve already healed you.”

That still small voice kept me from wondering why and helped me focus on the process of healing.

His word relieved some of the ‘unknown ‘ in my mind, but I did not know the length of time that I would suffer through the loss of cognitive function, loss of gait, head to toe rashes and loss of hair. It was stressful to both myself, my husband, and my family.

Along side the unknown was a knowing that I can’t explain. I fully felt the providential care of God. I felt blessing among the thorns, and beauty from the ashes.

In no way do I compare myself to the persecution of Job, or the sacrifices of Christ. I do want to make clear however, we are not exempt from experiencing suffering on earth. I believe any person that reads the Bible has that clarity.

What I think I missed before I encountered the demonic Covid was the fact that in the midst of trials and tribulations, that a decision to trust must remain at the forefront of our faith. And when our faith wavers, we must remember through our faith we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. We through our salvation by faith have the mind of Christ. Bought and paid for in full.

Making a decision to follow Christ is vital. He doesn’t belittle us, quite the contrary, he says have the faith of a child.

Life is a journey that is best traveled in trust knowing God is with us. We have the redeemer that Job longed for on the inside of us!

This is so heart felt as I read Jobs testimony.

Job 13:25

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him

I see the passion for Christ in Job long before Christ appeared on earth. I feel with my whole heart the longing for a coming redeemer.

Job 19: 25 For I know that my Redeemer lives,
and at the last he will stand upon the earth.

As the horrible persecution continues in Job my heart feels the pressure and I cheer when he declares in chapter 23:10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

I can hardly bear to wait for the ending so who’s to keep me from skipping to the end. I read the end from the beginning and my heart sighs at Jobs determination in chapter 28: 28 when he says; “ Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,
and to turn away from evil is understanding.

My heart felt those words.

I conclude this: The soul of man is precious in Gods sight. The only way to live here on earth is through the breath of the almighty.

Dear God. I have no desire to be as the friends of Job.

Dear God. My greatest desire is to be a friend of God.

So much scripture sounded right as Jobs friend began to try to comfort him in his tribulation. I think as I read the discourse, they should have remained silent.

And then again, the these beautiful passages of hope, trust, and wisdom would not be here for us today to assuage our pain, as we endure the true evil of Gods adversary.

Make no mistake here.

Job persecution was a type of the sacrifice we as believers endure as we seek the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.

The truth is the devil motives have not changed and there is nothing new under the sun.

The same evil that attacked Job is the same spiritual evil that would test and attack our savior Jesus Christ.

Job was righteous and he saw through the portal of time and knew that his redeemer lived and was coming. He knew that he was being tried and if he hung on in trust God would avenge him.

Job reverenced God and though he questioned the validity of his persecution in anger, he never cursed God.

That’s deep soul love. Soul to soul trust. That’s sacrificial love that chose to let patience have her perfect work.

In Job we feel the Spirit of Prophecy, the living breath of a Redeemer coming to see about his brother.

The New Covenant would eventually come and show forth the providence of God.

Job not knowing what we know said, “Though he slay me, still I will trust,”

My thoughts go to the cross when Jesus says to his father “ Unto you I entrust my Spirit.”

Luke 23: 46 Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this he breathed his last.

We might make this declaration today. ‘Until my last breath, Jesus I trust in you!’

Job 33:4 The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.

A declaration, a determination, to unlimit our faith.

Unlimited Faith goes the distance.

Count the Cost

Jesus knew how to disperse a crowd.

He had over 500 disciples sitting, listening to his teaching. Thousands followed him to see healing and miracles. Many in the Synagogues recognized him as having authority unlike anything they had seen or heard and yet when he dispersed truth, he dispersed the crowd.

Jesus words were truly anointed by God and his words were pure wisdom. But when he told them he was eternal life, and that you must drink his blood and partake of his body, many disciples left him. Thousands unfollowed him. The authorities began to plot against him.

Actual verse in John 6:54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them at the last day.

He explained in this teaching that he was the bread of life. He spoke of the manna that came from heaven in the wilderness as not being the true bread as they still died.

He explained He is the living bread which anyone may eat and not die. This bread is my flesh, he told them, which I will give for the life of the world.

On hearing this truth, many of his disciples said, this is a hard teaching, who can accept it?

From that time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. Jesus asked the twelve, his inner circle, you do not want to leave too, do you?

The passage doesn’t end there, because Jesus is only getting started in teaching his disciples that they needed to accept his teaching that HE is the Bread of Life. HE has the words of eternal life. He is the Word of God. Anyone believing in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.

He chose the twelve disciples and yet one of them was the devil. One was preparing to betray him.

Jesus never hid truth. There is a cost to remaining with him, following him.

He never backed up on teaching the cost of eternal life. He paid it for anyone who chose him, but he still allowed the choice to unfollow him.

Christ’s disciples must make their relationship with God the focus of their life or unfollow him.

It is such a paradox really. Believing he the bread of life is easy, but living it out….. fully trusting …..is going to take all you got. Because trials and tribulations and loss will rip through your life like a bad storm. Things will break your heart, but cannot break your trust when your heart is devoted to Him.

Today 2000 years and more later, I hear the question, do you want to stop following?

Jesus asked his disciples the question and Peter answered and acknowledged him as eternal life. He said we know and believe your words.

But the cross was coming. One of them was preparing to betray Christ and his brethren. Loss was coming, the greatest pain imaginable was being planned. And Peter never planned to but he would unfollow Christ.

It broke Peter’s heart, but it didn’t break Jesus heart. He already knew. He knew Peter would be hurt but he also knew it wouldn’t break Peter.

Fast forward: Two thousand and twenty. The year 2020.

Jesus is eternal life, We love his word. We believe we are true disciples. Yet deception, betrayal, grief and loss is coming.

We (the church) , had no idea then what was in the hearts of man or what God fully had planned.

Separation happened. The wheat and the tares illustration became real life. The distinction was made, between wickedness and righteousness. We observed the breaking of hearts in many, many ways.

My word of encouragement is to Praise God! Keep following. Be grateful.

Expect a rebound. Revival is coming. Feel the Resurrection power pulsing on the inside. It’s almost time, we are in the waiting room.

He is alive and well, he’s preparing a place for us. For now, devote your heart anew to Christ. It will be enough to keep your feet on the ground, your journey cautiously carefree.

The Bible foretells more is coming. Don’t put your trust in men, you have a foretaste of what they are capable of. Count the cost and be prepared to allow his life to show through you. Don’t worry about the crowd that left your life. Put your trust in God. He will never leave you or forsake you.

Time to Train

Time to Train E-Motion

Matthew 27: 11 ¶ And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest.12 And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing.13 ¶ Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee?14 And he answered him to never a word; insomuch that the governor marvelled greatly.

In this time of accusation, and persecution Jesus said, “ Thou sayest.”

After all he had said, and all he had done to usher in the truth he chose to remain silent. And sometimes we have to do the same.

Many times we have to wait a minute for retribution of God. We are on his time not our time.

John 2:24 But Jesus did not entrust Himself to them, for He knew them all.

The priest in that day wanted power and they wanted influence and any one who threatened those things, they threatened.

They did not care that Jesus went about doing good. They didn’t care that he healed people. They knew he was from God. They didn’t want to receive him. That’s why they did not receive his salvation.

John 1:11 He came to his own and his own received him not.

God impressed upon me today as I read his word that 2020 was a time of doubles. We had many actors. The Bible calls actors hypocrites. And it’s been difficult to know which was real. He is separating the wheat from the tare.

I am encouraging readers of this blog to train both spiritually and physically. Spiritually do not entrust yourself to man.

Because you are man, don’t trust yourself to act according to the word of God based on religion alone.

We must train ourselves to reign with Christ. We must focus on the coming harvest. It’s going to require self control and self discipline. We should not react to the worlds way, but we should act according to God’s way and imitate Christ.

To stay in the Truth develop you relationship with Jesus. Make sure the fruit of the Spirit is evident. Trust God to prune what is not of him as you pray daily.

One of the greatest enemies of spiritual fruit is untrained flesh operating in emotion concerning these times.

E-motion is Energy in Motion. We have to reign our emotion in through the fruit of the Spirit called self control, which requires self discipline.

Our flesh undisciplined can be so animalistic and yet we can train ourselves.

Example: You are walking your dog. He tries to run ahead. You discipline with the leash and bring him back to your side. You teach him obedience.

In the same way, we must reign in our emotions. We don’t allow our energy to walk ahead of us. We pulled it back to our side. We become obedient to Christ.

We can also get destructive when we allow our mouth to act before we are ready to act.

When we are persecuted or misunderstood, we can rein it in, stand our ground and respond with “ You say.”

That is how we operate in trust with God! Get ready for the harvest!

Harvest Time


Psalms 103:11
For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him

We only have to look up to know that Gods ways are higher than our ways.

John 4:35 -38

35 Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.36 And he that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth fruit unto life eternal: that both he that soweth and he that reapeth may rejoice together.37 And herein is that saying true, One soweth, and another reapeth.38 I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labour: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours.

2021 Step into the Big

Psalms 103:17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children

Fear means fear. Reverence the Lord above all things.

I had this thought: the word fear defined could mean awe. It could mean revere, look up in awe at our great God. Worship Him.

When was the last time any of Gods creation actually experienced awe? Do we really worship God?

The scripture written by David in Psalms inspires us to develop fear of the Lord. Be inspired and be in awe of him! Bless Him! Worship Him! Go all out!

For as heaven is high above the earth so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. verse 11

I’m going to limit the word awesome this year to describe Gods faithfulness! God is Awe and then some! I truly want to go all out! I plan to be afraid, be reverent as one should when encountering the great big God. My God, who has great big mercy toward those who fear him

Join me this year as I step into the Big!

Happy New Year 2021

We look forward to the New Year because we want a fresh new start. We look forwarding to the end of some things and hope for the beginning of other.

In reality we can begin fresh and new every single day! I love The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Imagine having 365 days every year with this verse as your wake up verse.

Then at the end of the year you wouldn’t stay up to usher the old year out! You would rest assured that his love is steadfast! His mercy never comes to a end! Great is his faithfulness!

No matter what 2020 brought, no matter what happens in 2021, we can rest assured!

Happy New Year!

Whose Driving?

Most leaders have learned to be efficient and organized. It’s a discipline that keeps accuracy. But it does not necessarily provide passion.

Passion is what drives the vision. If you feel like you are spinning your wheels, it may be the time to evaluate whose driving.

Whose driving?

Many may say God is my co-pilot. Jesus, take the wheel. Ultimately, he should be first and foremost if you are living a Christian life.

How to be debt free
Guilt and bitterness is two things that we need to be free from today.
The answer is forgiveness.
The Lords Prayer
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
The only thing that pays the debt off is forgiveness.
How to be Debt Free / James Merritt
1. Get rid of all bitterness, rage anger, brawling stander with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:31-32 Remove yourself from it.
(The real war for some people today are som are asked to take guilt, from other people’s unresolved anger. CS)
Don’t take the guilt.
Don’t take the bitter pill either
Drop it! Get rid of it! Don’t carry it!
Release it to God.
2. Render Forgiveness Your handcuffed until you forgive / be kind and compassionate/ a tender heart is a warm heart. /Cold hearts cannot be tender heart or kind. / You may have a right to be bitter but you still have to forgive / bitterness wants to get even. /Do you really want to be even? You don’t want to go that low./ Forgiveness sets not just one free. Both parties can be Debt free when you render forgiveness.
3. What’s the Motivation? “just as God has forgiven you.”
4. Stop focusing on what others has done to you. Focus on what God has done for you.
5. I’m forgiven. So I forgive others. God is our model.
6. What does Gods forgiveness look like? It’s free What did God charge you? Who did he charge? Jesus /We only want to forgive when we see an exchange
7. Jesus forgive freely and fully, and finally /the wrong is gone / you may not forget but you put behind you, and bury it.
8. Get forgiveness. Release forgiveness / where do we do this? At the foot of the cross
9. Though Jesus you go free/ he cancels your debt/ get debt free / stay debt free /